Enough is enough


I have over the last few months had an unusually high amount of certain comments thrown my way and I decided, (as the title suggests) to put things to rest once and for all.

You know me pretty well, my inability to say no combined with a constant feeling of guilt makes me a slightly nervous, and worried person. I felt guilty before Jake, but after Jake, the guilt has increased. A lot.

My decision to have Jake was, well completely mine. I was warned before hand that things would be tough, and that perhaps I would be a single mother for a good few years. I said that’s fine, because I have Jake to concentrate on, so no relationship was fine. Besides, after Jon, I’d like to think that any normal girl would have stayed away from men. For a good long while. But my situation was not unusual. Not to sound melodramatic, but I was definitely not the first person ever to take a year off from my studies to have a baby, and to be young too.

I’d also like you to know that when I returned home after discovering I was pregnant, I begged Mike to take me back. Not because I felt I needed someone to help me, but because I loved him. In fact, I had never stopped loving Mike. And he turned me down, because he was not ready to take both me and my impending situation on. And who could blame him? Certainly not me.

So, when two years ago, after quite a few drinks and a delightful meat kebab, he said and I quote ‘Fuck, I can’t stand the thought of you being with anyone else. Let’s do it, let’s get back together.’ I was pretty, ecstatically happy. So you see, no forcing. I didn’t stick a gun to his head and demand that he take me back. Can you imagine how unbelievably selfish that would be of me? I’d already put Mike through the torturous experience of meeting Jon, why on earth would I force him to then be with me and potentially take on Jake too? Apart from anything else, we are both extremely stubborn people, and I absolutely hate asking for help, it is my least favourite thing to do, though I can’t imagine anyone enjoying it. But Mike wanted both of us, not just me, but both of US. And you have seen him with Jake, he’s at his happiest when they are playing together.

Now I know, that without Mike, I would not have coped. He is my best friend, and the only person I trust 100% without question. So I already know I owe him big. But really people need to stop saying to me, ‘Oh God you are just so fortunate to have Mike, he is just so amazing.’ Like I didn’t know already? Don’t get me wrong, it was nice at first to sit there and say, yes, he really his wonderful and amazing. problem is, with someone like me, if you say it every time you see the three of us together, my guilt goes into override. I panic because then i think, oh well maybe I should be feeling more grateful, be more thankful, and tell him. Which in turn, annoys him because he hates it when I feel guilty. Partly because he knows that I appreciate him, but also because he doesn’t understand feeling guilty. He just doesn’t see the point, he sees it as being as other people’s problem not his. And above all else, he loves us, and that’s why he is here.

along with this, we recently had to deal with someone taking a dislike to me and our relationship. They believed that Mike was making a mistake, that I had forced Mike into this relationship. They felt that Mike should be single and having a good time. Like I said, Mike is stubborn, and you cannot force him to do anything, believe me I have tried.

So there, I hope that has cleared things up. Stop making me feel bad, I know that what Mike has done is amazing, that I am lucky to have him, that I am not good enough, and that basically he’s the dogs bollocks. But he’s here because he wants to be, because he loves us both, not because I forced him to.




Make the most of this summer and travel to Italy… By visiting Tunbridge Wells


Time to do some promoting I think. It’s been a while and I know how much you love it.

As you know, I am half Italian, though I like to think more Italian than English because I like the idea of being thought of as exotic. (Don’t laugh too hard) I am extremely into food and drink, especially wine. In fact, I am convinced that doctors are lying to us and that living on a diet of just wine could be done. They just don’t want people to know you see, it’s all a conspiracy theory, like how the price of mince has gone up since they revealed there use to be a bit of horse meat in it too.

Anyway, I am digressing. I am lucky in that I have been surrounded by people who can cook extremely well, and this in turn, has meant that I am able to cook and it also means that Jake is the most unfussy child you will ever meet. The only thing he doesn’t like is raw mushrooms, and I think this is shameful because they are just amazing. As you well know, my dad has a fantastic delicatessen in Tunbridge Wells, Kent. And as you should know, he does more than just food and catering. Did you know he is a tour organiser? That he also does private food and wine tastings? That he made a wedding cake entirely out of cheese wheels? You can order everything he has on-line, he gives discounts, he delivers lunches right to your desk… Whether you are fussy or haven an allergy, he will cater to your every need. And I think, though biased I know, that is something to shout and scream about.

These days, when you find a place that goes that extra mile to offer you personal touches, it makes a difference. After all, why be seen as just any other customer, when you can be treated with genuine care and attention? The great thing about dad’s shop is that they value every person that walks in because they are so passionate about what they do, and passionate about what they serve you. They want to make sure that they do everything within their power to allow you to leave relaxed, happy, satisfied… and slightly rounder after sampling all their delicious dishes.

if you don’t believe me, see for yourself. Whether a regular, a passing visitor, or just plain curious, you won’t be disappointed, I promise.







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I’m sat here and I am not allowed to just help myself… If you come in to buy something and get me something, I’ll get you a discount 😉


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